Humor

Who would expect a killer to do in his/her victim while riding a chairlift at a peaceful alpine ski resort in full view of a throng of skiers gathered to watch the Christmas torchlight parade? Certainly not stress-reduction therapist, Carrie Carlin, who has come to her biofeedback convention in the hope of meeting this year’s honoree, pain management guru, Adonis-like Dr. Hubert Freundlich. Of course, Carrie hadn’t expected to find Dr. Freundlich’s wedding-banded hand creeping up her thigh in the outdoor hot tub either. Nor had she anticipated hearing hints of wrongdoing drunkenly whispered in her ear by his brilliant young associate.

Then the associate is murdered, the police discover that her scarf is the probable murder weapon, her roommate develops amnesia about a possible date rape, a close colleague and friend is attacked, there’s a suspicious accident on those slippery slopes, and her significant other starts talking wedded bliss. Carrie’s stress level shoots into the stratosphere as she finds herself dodging not only Cupid’s darts, but bullets and a ski-masked killer with a heart as cold as Vermont black ice.

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Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

A guy walks into a bar car and…

From here the story could take many turns. When the guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humor and intelligence and leave you deeply moved.

Sedaris remembers his father’s dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy. The common thread? Sedaris masterfully turns each essay into a love story: how it feels to be in a relationship where one loves and is loved over many years, what it means to be part of a family, and how it’s possible, through all of life’s absurdities, to grow to love oneself.

Rob Ballister can find humor anywhere. Whether it’s in the operating room, in the classroom, in a relationship, or in Spain, his unique style takes you on a journey through the significant events that shaped his life. Through a never-ending struggle to understand his family, women, and God’s sense of humor, he stands defiantly with nothing more than a smile and his teddy bear Oscar. Follow him as he joins the Navy, sees the world, beats cancer, and gets beaten up. Ride with him as he learns to drive, learns the truth about Santa Claus, and learns where babies come from. It’s a wild ride filled with laughter, friendship, a bit of heartbreak, and a lot of love. You will laugh, you may cry, but one thing is certain. You won’t forget it.

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY: “This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while “major[ing] in vodka,” Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously… refreshingly honest.”

This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.

“Reading This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is like going to your neighbor’s house for a play date and discovering that she’s just as clueless and crazy as you are.” -Stacy Dymalski, Confessions of a Band Geek Mom